Deep Thoughts


Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

It's always darkest before dawn. So, if you're going to steal the neighbor'snewspaper, that's the time to do it.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning toothers.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probablyworth it.

Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from badjudgment.

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a biggerstick.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands.

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